Narcissists are often drawn to each other like magnets, and their relationship typically revolves around power and control. In this blog post, we delve into what happens when two narcissists come together and how it affects them both. We also explore expert opinions on this relationship dynamic and analyze case studies.
Types of love between Two Narcissists
Narcissistic relationships can take various forms. What binds them is often the need for power or control over the other person, which can manifest in different ways. Relationships between two narcissists are typically marked by a battle for dominance. These relationships can be highly dramatic and conflict-ridden, as both partners try to overpower each other. While they can be intense, they are often quite toxic.
- Toxic relationships: Partners abuse each other but return because they enjoy the “game.” Such relationships are often highly destructive.
- The Perfect Pair: Partners share similar values and interests. While the relationship may be toxic, it can also be fulfilling for both parties.
- The Rescuer dynamic: One narcissist “rescues” the other from a bad or abusive relationship. These relationships are often unhealthy and one-sided.
- Manipulative relationships: One partner uses the other for personal gain. These relationships are generally highly manipulative and harmful.
What attracts Narcissists to each other?
The concept of assortative mating suggests that people are attracted to those with similar traits. This phenomenon is common across various areas of life, including relationships. It’s no surprise, then, that narcissists are often drawn to each other.
There’s something about their dynamics that creates a magnetic pull. At first, the relationship can feel exhilarating, as both partners share common interests and values. However, the relationship soon devolves into intense rivalry, as both individuals try to outdo each other to maintain control. This can lead to conflicts over trivial matters, like who receives credit for something or how the toilet paper roll should be placed.
How does the Love between Two Narcissists Develop?
Both partners have an immense need for admiration and respect and can be highly manipulative to achieve their goals.
In most cases, a relationship between two narcissists is doomed from the start. Neither partner is willing to relinquish their control or dominance over the other.
This creates a tug-of-war, with each partner trying to outshine the other. This often leads to destructive patterns, such as:
- Abusive Behavior: One partner may become abusive if they feel they are losing control.
- Victim and Perpetrator Roles: The relationship can shift to one where one partner is the victim and the other the perpetrator.
- Manipulation: One partner may manipulate the other to get their way.
Can Two narcissists Truly love each other?
While two narcissists can fall in love, it’s rare. More often, they are more interested in the power struggle than genuine emotional connection. However, there is always a possibility that they might develop feelings for each other.
For such a relationship to succeed, both partners would need to relinquish some control and power, which is not something narcissists do easily. Consequently, developing a meaningful emotional connection is often challenging for them.
Relationships between two narcissists are usually intense but tend to be unstable. There’s an underlying tension as both partners feel threatened by the other’s perceived strength or intelligence. This constant competition and jealousy create an atmosphere of conflict, where even minor disagreements can escalate.
Expert perspectives on Narcissistic Love
There is significant debate among experts about whether a relationship between two narcissists can work. Some believe it can be healthy if both partners are willing to compromise and meet each other’s needs. However, most experts agree that these relationships are typically unhealthy and often doomed to fail.
The alternative view
Despite the drama and arguments that often accompany narcissistic relationships, there are positive aspects too. For instance, both partners might share a passionate interest in topics like politics or art, spending hours debating and exploring nuances. Their shared interests and similar personalities might create a sense of closeness, potentially leading to a long-term relationship or even marriage.
Case Studies: The Love Between Two Narcissists
Case Study 1
Dr. Vijayeta Sinha examined the dynamics between a narcissistic husband and wife.
The study revealed that the couple constantly tried to outdo each other. They manipulated and deceived one another, often exhibiting abusive behavior when they felt control slipping away. Eventually, the couple separated because they couldn’t compromise or collaborate, leading to endless arguments and drama.
Case Study 2
A recent study found that narcissists are more likely to maintain relationships with other narcissists than with individuals of other personality types. This is because they often share similar values and beliefs, fostering a sense of connection. Furthermore, narcissists often enjoy the thrill of controlling someone else’s behavior, creating an exciting but volatile relationship dynamic.
Source: Two Narcissists In a Relationship: Recipe For Narcissistic (therapymantra.co)
