The psychology of love, or the study of love through a psychological lens, offers fascinating insights with the help of experts. As a field of study, it draws on numerous research findings to provide a comprehensive understanding of love.
The Psychology of Love
Attachment is a core component of love. Strong bonds set mammals apart from many other species, though other groups—such as birds and fish—also form strong social connections essential for survival.
A 2017 study outlines four types of attachment in mammals:
- Pair bonds – Close, long-term social connections between individuals.
- Parent-offspring bonds – Attachment between parents and their young.
- Peer bonds – Relationships among individuals of the same age or group.
- Conspecific bonds – Bonds between members of the same species.
Most human experiences of love fall into one of these categories. For example, the love you feel for a close friend fits within the peer bond category.
Romantic relationships are one type of pair bond. They may begin with mutual attraction and evolve into love over time.
When you like someone, you enjoy their company and care about their well-being. When you love them, these feelings become unconditional.
The Physical Effects of Love
Love does more than foster emotional connections; it can also affect physical health.
- Immune System Boost: A 2019 study found that falling in love triggers immune system responses similar to those seen during viral infections.
- Cancer Protection: A 2021 study on mice revealed that those in pair-bonded relationships were less likely to develop tumors compared to those whose bonds were disrupted.
Can You Control Falling in Love?
Though love may feel uncontrollable, research suggests otherwise. Love operates like an emotion that can be regulated by generating new feelings or altering their intensity.
Common emotion regulation strategies include:
- Situation selection: Avoiding or seeking situations based on how they make you feel.
- Distraction: Engaging in activities to lessen emotional intensity.
- Suppression: Hiding your emotions.
- Cognitive reappraisal: Changing your thoughts to alter your feelings.
If your feelings are unrequited, these strategies might help redirect your focus.
The Triangular Theory of Love
Dr. Robert Sternberg’s triangular theory of love proposes that love is built on three components:
- Intimacy (emotional)
- Commitment (cognitive)
- Passion (physical)
Each component forms a corner of Sternberg’s triangle, which defines seven types of love based on the interplay of these elements.
Types of Love in Psychology
Sternberg’s theory identifies seven forms of love:
- Liking: Emotional intimacy without passion or commitment, typical of friendships.
- Infatuation: Passion without intimacy or commitment, often driven by physical attraction.
- Empty Love: Commitment without passion or intimacy, such as in arranged marriages or relationships that have lost their spark.
- Romantic Love: Passion and intimacy without long-term commitment, such as a fleeting romantic affair.
- Companionate Love: Intimacy and commitment without passion, often seen in deep friendships or long-term partnerships where passion has faded.
- Fatuous Love: Passion and commitment without emotional intimacy, as in whirlwind romances.
- Consummate Love: The ideal form of love, combining intimacy, passion, and commitment.
Love takes many forms, and it’s possible to love multiple people in different ways simultaneously. While emotional intimacy and passion are common in many relationships, they are not universal, nor is commitment.
Another critical element is attachment, which can provide emotional support and a sense of security in relationships.
References:
- Anderson JW. (2016). Sternberg’s triangular theory of love.
- Feldman R. (2017). The neurobiology of human attachments.
- Karandashev V. (2015). A cultural perspective on romantic love.
- Langeslag SJE, et al. (2016). Regulation of romantic love feelings: Preconceptions, strategies, and feasibility.
- Murray DR, et al. (2019). Falling in love is associated with immune system gene regulation.
- Naderi A, et al. (2021). Persistent effects of pair bonding in lung cancer cell growth in monogamous Peromyscus californicus.
- Schoeps K, et al. (2020). The impact of peer attachment on prosocial behavior, emotional difficulties and conduct problems in adolescence: The mediating role of empathy.
- Seshadri KG. (2016). The neuroendocrinology of love
