Love is remarkably simple to define. While it often feels ineffable, there are a few universal emotions and traits that characterize love in all its forms.
The Definition of Love
Let’s begin with the simplest explanation—a definition scientific enough to hold its ground in this article:
Love is a deep, tender, passionate affection for another person, often intertwined with sexual attraction.
Straightforward, isn’t it? When we break it down, each part rings true. Yet, let’s dig a little deeper.
Love is an intense, profound affection for someone else. It also implies the feeling of holding someone in high regard or cherishing them deeply. Love can refer to a strong affinity for something or someone, not necessarily in a romantic sense. There are countless interpretations of love, whether as a verb or a noun.
Explaining love, however, is no simple feat. Love is one of the most powerful emotions humans experience. It stands as the opposite of hatred, another intensely charged emotion. When you’d do anything for someone, it’s usually because you feel love for them.
There are many kinds of strong connections you can have with others, and they can all be labeled as love. The love you feel for your parents is not the same as the love you might have for a close friend or romantic partner. You may even form a deep emotional bond with a pet, such as your dog. This, too, is love—but not romantic love.
Where Does Love “Come From”?
The Bible’s first reference to love isn’t romantic but parental love (Genesis 22). When a child is born, the parent’s immediate response to this tiny person who didn’t exist moments ago is often, “I would do anything for you.” In love, action embodies the feeling. That’s why we hear phrases like, “You’re not acting like you love me.” Deep down, we know that love isn’t merely an emotion—it’s an emotion that takes form in action.
Love between humans is inherently relational. Sure, you can love things that don’t reciprocate—like the sky, a mountain, a painting, or a game of chess. But love for other people is directed. There is a lover and a beloved. Love doesn’t just exist; it’s for someone. True love is never merely about the lover’s feelings; it’s not selfish. It manifests when one person believes in another and demonstrates it.
Take the scene from Fiddler on the Roof, where Tevye asks Golde if she loves him after 25 years of marriage. Her sardonic response drives the point home:
“For 25 years, I’ve washed your clothes,
Cooked your meals, cleaned the house,
Given you children, milked your cow…
If that’s not love, what is it?”
Of course, it’s possible to do all sorts of things for someone and feel little or nothing for them. Love isn’t about becoming a hired hand. Nor is love a cold duty carried out without spirit. Yet, it also isn’t a passion expressed cruelly or not at all. Feelings and actions must unite.
We would have a healthier view of love if we understood it, like parental or platonic love, as a feeling expressed through action. What we genuinely feel is reflected in what we do. While poetry may dazzle and passion may burn brightly, love’s deepest beauty lies in how it transforms lives.
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